Southern Bells
Southern Bells
A musical by Rebecca Noon, written at age 10
Act I, Scene 1
Narrator: Well, howdy! You all are about to stumble onto a story. A story of a feud in two families in the Oklahoma territory in 1865. Come on in and see!
"Love"
Caroline: Oh I love you Jonathan.
I love you for so many things.
See, you're smart and you love me
And you're always there for me.
What more do I need?
Jonathan: Oh I love you Caroline.
I love you for so many things.
Cause you're wise and you're beautiful
But most of all
Cause you love me.
Caroline: Oh Jonathan! I'm so happy with you!
Jonathan: So you'll be wishing me a happy return?
Caroline: Where darling? I'm wishing you a happy return from where?
Jonathan: Oh, it's nothing to worry about. I'm just going to tell your daddy about . . . us. That is if you accept.
Caroline: Why, are you proposing to me Jonathan Klatberry? If you are . . . I accept!
Jonathan: I am Miss Caroline, I am!!
Caroline: Oh Jonathan! I have to go tell Mamma and Daddy!
Jonathan: Caroline, watch out for your daddy!
Caroline: Oh Jonathan, Daddy'll be happy!
"What Kind of Life?"
Jonathan: Caroline why you goin'?
He don't really need to know.
He never liked me much and you know it
Yeah you know it.
So why not just keep hiding and not show it
Yeah not show it.
Caroline: Jonathan, what kind of life
Would that be?
Just you and me?
No family and friends
No happy weekends?
What kind of life would that be?
Caroline: Plus Jonathan, you know he is my father. Don't worry. What can he do? As long as you're with me, I'll be as happy as could be!
Jonathan: Maybe you're right Caroline, but I still think we should be careful about your daddy.
Caroline: Yes, yes, I agree. What we need is a plan and . . . and . . . I do declare! I have a plan for all our parents! I mean, your mamma ain't exactly the gentlest woman!
Jonathan: Well, I guess. So . . . what is it?
Caroline: Come here and I'll tell you.
Act I, Scene 2
Narrator: So, that's how we begin our story. We have the two hopeful, star-crossed lovers that only want to be with each other. But what do their parents have to say? Look, here comes Caroline's mom, Sylvia.
"Sometimes"
Sylvia: Sometimes it seems to me
That there is nothing on that tree
To pluck!
Sometimes I like to think
That most water goes plink plink
So there's nothing left for me
To drink!
(music continues under scene. Caroline enters)
Sylvia: 'Morning darling! Did you sleep well?
Caroline: Why yes I did . . . I had the most wonderful dream!
Sylvia: Oh really? What about darling?
Caroline: Jonathan!!
(music abruptly stops)
Sylvia: Oh Caroline. I just don't know what you see in that boy!
Caroline: Oh no Momma. He's wonderful. In fact, guess what Momma?
Sylvia: What?
Caroline: He asked for my hand . . . in . . . uhh . . .my hand in . . .
Sylvia: Yes? I'm waiting.
Caroline: In uhhhh . . . dish washing soap. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
Sylvia: Are you sure it's not marriage?
Caroline: Well, no, I'm not sure . . . because it is.
Sylvia: So, did you accept?
Caroline: Promise not to tell Daddy?
Sylvia: Oh Caroline!
Caroline: Promise?
Sylvia: You know I cannot do that Caro--
Caroline: Mamma!
Sylvia: I'll try my best, but I can't promise you anything.
Caroline: Thank you Mamma.
Act I, Scene 3
"I Wish"
Luciel: I wish life could be perfect
For us.
Never have a worry or a fuss.
Oh I wish life could be perfect
For us.
Jonathan: Good morning mamma. That was a very enchanting song! Did you sleep well?
Luciel: Very well. See, I'm happy I raised such a fine boy. . . Unlike that Thompson girl!
Jonathan: Oh Momma, she's okay. I mean, she's more than okay. She's . . .
Jonathan: A bird on a tree
Tweedle dee dee
A song in the breeze
Dee dee dee kee
A lovely girl.
Oh yes a most enchanting girl!
Luciel: She's a little old rat
A thieving young boar.
I've even heard
That she might be a
Jonathan: (music stops) Momma!
Luciel: Oh! I'm sorry. (music continues)
Jonathan: Momma, oh momma
You've got it all wrong.
She's a lovely girl.
Yes a most enchanting girl.
See that's why I'm going to
Marry her and
Luciel: (music stops) Marry her. Jonathan Klatberry tell me that ain't what you said! For your old dying Momma, tell me you didn't just say that you are going to marry that . . . that ugggg.
Jonathan: Oh Momma! Ummm that's uhhh. Well, you see . . . wait! What am I doing? I love Caroline and yes! I'm going to marry Caroline Thompson! . . . Just one thing.
Luciel: What son?
Jonathan: Just please don't tell Daddy!
Act I, Scene 4
Narrator: Let's see. You've met our lovers . . . and their mommas! You saw how "happy" the mommas were with the news. Now let's see what the kids do to get around their parents.
Caroline: (entering into church with Jonathan) I'm not so sure about this Jonathan. I mean, should we really be doing this?
Jonathan: Do we love each other?
Caroline: Why yes! I do believe so.
Jonathan: Well then. That's all that matters.
Preacher Harrison: Ahem. . . Mr. Klatberry, Miss Thompson. How are ya'll this evening?
Caroline: Uh . . . that's what we wanted to talk to you about. You see --
Jonathan: Caroline, let me. You see Preacher Harrison, we, Caroline and me, we love each other very much, but our parents, they's feuding so . . . so . . .
Preacher Harrison: You want me to marry you two, huh?
Jonathan: Yes sir!
Preacher Harrison: You two haven't exactly thought this through, have you?
Jonathan: No sir!
Preacher Harrison: I see.
"The Things You're Gonna Need"
Preacher Harrison: Where you gonna live?
Are your parents gonna know?
All the time I've known ya's
I never disagreed
But I think you should know
The things yer gonna need.
Firstly,
Yer gonna need money to buy that house.
Caroline: A house?
Preacher Harrison: A house.
Secondly,
Yer gonna need a job to get that money.
Jonathan: A job?
Preacher Harrison: A job.
Thirdly,
Yer gonna need horses.
Jonathan & Caroline: Horses?
Preacher Harrison: Horses.
Horses and food and clothes and . . .
Preacher Harrison: (music stops) Do ya'll want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?
Caroline: Oh definitly!
Preacher Harrison: Oh boy! (music continues)
Preacher Harrison: Then you're gonna need
More food.
Caroline & Jonathan: More food?
Preacher Harrison: More money.
Caroline & Jonathan: More money?
Preacher Harrison: More jobs.
Caroline & Jonathan: More jobs?
Jonathan: More clothes, more horses, more --
Preacher Harrison: Plus,
Baby carriages, baby cribs, schoolin', clothes . . .
Caroline: (music stops) WAIT! Jonathan this isn't right! Without our parents this will just be too hard!
Jonathan: I guess you're right Caroline. But then how will we ever be married?
Caroline: Remember? We can use my plan.
Jonathan: Yeah! We can use your plan.
Preacher Harrison: Bye Caroline. Bye Jonathan. Yeesh, when I applied for this job they never told me there'd be days like this.
Act I, Scene 5
Narrator: It's twelve noon and Caroline is strolling over to her best friend Elly's house to discuss problems.
"A Marvelous Thing"
Caroline: Love at first sight
Is a marvelous thing.
I know cause it happened to me.
The loving young glances,
The short sweet romances.
Who knows what it is
But it's crazy.
Caroline: Here I am! Elly's house. Hello! Elly May! It's me, Caroline.
Delia: Caroline! That you sweetie? It's me, Delia. I just don't know where Elly is right now, but you can talk to me.
Elly May: (offstage) Momma! I'm in the barn with Starlight!
Delia: Elly, why are you interrupting us like that? Caroline and I was about to have a conversation about personal stuff. Weren't we Caroline?
Caroline: Actually, I really needed to talk to Elly May right now, but thanks anyway Mrs. Hentickle.
Delia: Oh, heh, heh, call me Delia and it wasn't nothing.
Elly May: (enters) Come on! Are you just going to talk to my momma all day?
Delia: I do declare! Girls these days. It's rush, rush, rush. (exits)
Elly May: So, you say your momma won't let you marry Jonathan?
Caroline: Yeah. I'm also afraid that she'll tell Daddy.
Elly May: So what if she tells your daddy?
Caroline: Think of it this way. If she tells Daddy he might go after Jonathan with a gun. You know how protective he is!
Elly May: What are you guys going to do?
Caroline: Well Elly. That's precisely why I came over.
Elly May: Ah shucks! I thought it was my charming personality.
Caroline: Oh you silly! We have a plan.
Elly May: How's it go?
Caroline: Like this.
Act I, Scene 6
Kevin: Let me get this straight Jonathan. We, Elly May, Caroline, you, and me, are going to write four letters saying that you and Caroline have run away to get married and give it to all our parents? Even Elly's and mine?
Jonathan: Yeah. In the past six years even you guys have become involved. Your momma and daddy taking my momma and daddy's side. And then the same with Elly's. Except it's Caroline's family, not mine.
Kevin: Right. Anyways. But really Caroline and you'll just be hiding. While we're hiding hopefully all our families will be brought together.
Jonathan: Yup. That's the gist of it, Kevin!
Kevin: Wait a minute! Did you say that your mommas and daddies won't let you get married because they're feuding?
Jonathan: Yeah, I said that.
Kevin: Well, stick me with chicken wire and paint me blue! Your momma told my momma that your momma and poppa had the same problem that you two are having now!
Jonathan: Well, how do you like that?
Kevin: Yup.
"Love, Yeah Love"
Jonathan: Life can be unfair to you
People can be decieving.
When life gets you down
There's only one thing to depend on.
Jonathan & Kevin: Well, I'll tell ya
It's love yeah love.
Tell someone you love 'em
Well you'll feel love too.
Yeah love can really lift you.
Kevin: When people get you down
And it's hard to stand back up
Just fill your head with thoughts of love
And you will perk right up.
Jonathan & Kevin: Well, I'll tell ya
It's love yeah love.
Tell someone you love 'em
Well you'll feel love too.
Yeah love can really lift you.
Act II, Scene 1
Narrator: Here we are at the Rodeo of 1865. Yes, this is the place where Caroline, Jonathan, Elly May, and Kevin put their plan into action.
"Rodeo"
All: We're all waitin'
For the horses to come out.
We're all waitin'
For the cowboys to shout.
Yee haw! Yee haw!
It's time for the rodeo!
It's time for the rodeo!
It's time for the rodeo!
Yee haw!
Kenny: YEE HAW! I'm Kenny Hentickle. Husband to Delia, father to Elly May. And I'm here to welcome you all to the Tenth Annual Rodeo!!! Now for our first contestant . . . Joshua Miller. How you doin' Joshua?
Joshua: Oh, I'm just fine. I'd like to say howdy to my wife Lilly and son Kevin. Also, my dear, dear friends the Klatberrys.
Kenny: Joshua. Now, now. That shows no taste, being friends with the Klatberrys. My family is friends with the Thompsons.
Joshua: What's that supposed to mean?
Elly May: (entering in another space) How are we going to sneak these letters to our mommas and poppas?
Jonathan: We've got that all planned out Elly. You see, you're going to give one to my daddy and go hide, then--
Caroline: Then I give one to Kevin's daddy and go hide, then --
Kevin: Then I give one to Caroline's daddy and go hide, then --
Jonathan: Then I give one to your daddy and go hide.
Elly May: Oh, I see! What a good plan Caroline.
Caroline: Well thank you very much! (to Jonathan) Just think, by tomorrow we'll be man and wife.
Jonathan: TAMARRA!?
"Tamarra"
Jonathan: Woman are you crazy?
Caroline: Crazy over yoo-hoo.
Jonathan: Woman are you nutzo?
Caroline: Nutzo over yoo-hoo.
Jonathan: Stop lookin' at me
Like a sick dog!
I love you so, but
Tamarra?
Caroline: What's wrong with tamarra?
I really like tamarra.
I happen to think it's just fine.
I just can't wait for you to be mine oh mine!
Jonathan: We got plans to make
People to call.
There's no way!
Caroline: Absolutley wrong is you!
Jonathan: No how!
Caroline: For me sugar plum?
Jonathan: That I'll wait another day!
Both: Tamarra!
Elly May: We best skidaddle and deliver the letters.
Caroline: Oh! You're right! I just want to say thanks so much you two!
Kevin: Aww shucks! You guys! We'll meet up with you guys later. Just go!
Jonathan: See you in hiding! (he and Caroline exit)
Kevin: They're sweet.
Elly May: Like candy! Come on. We've got some letters to deliver!
Kevin: Mr. and Mrs. Thompson? I got a letter for you.
Kent: Well, what is it boy?
Kevin: I don't know sir. Why don't you open it?
Kent: (opens and reads) Good GRACIOUS!
Sylvia: What is it Kent? (takes letter) Oh no! My baby! My baby!
Elly May: Mr. Klatberry I have a telegram for you.
Franklin: Give it here girl! (opens and reads) Why I'll kill that boy!
Luciel: Why?
Franklin: He's run off with Caroline Thompson!!
Luciel: WHAT?! Why I'll kill him too. Oooo! How dare he double-cross me?!
Jonathan: Mr. Hentickle?
Kenny: Yes?
Jonathan: I have a letter concerning your daughter, Mr. Hentickle.
Delia: Elly? Elly May?
Kenny: Well, let's have it. (reads) Oh my dear lord.
Delia: What? Kenny give it here! (reads) ELLY!
Caroline: 'Scuse me Mr. and Mrs. Miller.
Lilly: Yes dear?
Caroline: Well, ummm . . . . Howdy!
Joshua: Stop blubbering girl and get on with whatever you came for!
Caroline: Yes sir. Here. (throws letter and runs)
Joshua: What a strange girl. (reads) That boy has done it this time!!
Lilly: What? (reads) Oh, how sweet. He's helping Caroline and Jonathan elope . . . Aaaaa! My son's a helper to sin!
Act II, Scene 2
Narrator: The search for the four begins. Where are they hiding? Only time will tell.
Franklin: Ooooooo! That boy's gonna pay for this! I bet that wretch Caroline talked him into it. Ooooo.
Joshua: Yeah, but you gotta admit it was a good plan!
Sylvia: How dare you talk about my daughter leading your cruel and develish son into holy matrimony!
Delia: Yes. It was obviously a scheme of your son to get Caroline to unbutton her dress.
Luciel: Now wait just a second! No man in my family us talked to or about like that. My boy's a good boy with maners, unlike your scumbucket of a girl.
Lilly: But you know what they say . . . the apple don't fall far from the tree.
Kent: Hey! My daughter and wife don't deserve treatment like that. . . Especially from two pole cats like you. And besides, Kevin isn't exactly the perfect son.
Franklin & Joshua: Watch how you talk to my wife! (all start arguing)
Lilly: WAIT ONE MINUTE! (all stop) I don't know about the rest of you, but I want to find my son.
Joshua: So, Lilly, let's go with Franklin and Luciel and leave these four fools here.
Sylvia: No! I want to find my daughter too!
Delia: Yes, Elly May must be in need of me now.
Kent: Hear hear, little darling. Let's go! (all start looking around then finally stop and look upstage where there is a church)
All: Preacher Harrison's!
Franklin: Why didn't we think of this in the first place?
"Stop the Wedding"
Franklin: Preacher Harrison's the one they'd go to.
Sylvia: Preacher Harrison's the one they'd see.
Kent: There's no doubt about it
That they're in there.
Luciel: I'd know it if they were
Anywhere.
All: We're gonna go in there.
We're gonna stop this weddin'.
We're gonna go in there
And stop it now.
There's no doubt about it
That they're inside.
We're gonna go in there and stop it . . .
For good.
Preacher Harrison: Now, now, what's all the commotion about?
Kenny: Us eight is looking for our four.
Preacher Harrison: But you all are enemies . . . aren't you?
Lilly: Ha ha ha! Us? We're bosom buddies! (all but Preacher laugh)
Preacher Harrison: Caroline, Jonathan, Elly, Kevin! You can come out now! They all friends.
Caroline: Whew! It's hot in there!
Kevin: You said it Caroline.
Elly May: (shivering) A-at l-l-least you weren't frozen next to the i-i-ice chest.
Jonathan: Y-yeah.
Luciel: You mean you didn't get married?
Caroline: Hee, hee. Course not. It was all a trick to bring you eight together.
Franklin: Well, it worked plum dandy! Glad you thought of it, Jonathan!
Delia: JONATHAN! It was obviously the work of Elly May.
Elly May: Actually Momma -- (everyone starts arguing)
Sylvia: HOLD IT! (all quiet) Let's not fight, because tomorrow we'll be family.
Caroline: Oh Momma! I love you!
"Growling Like Bears"
Caroline: We're all together
Sharing our love
And tomorrow they'll be a joinin'.
We should all be smilin'
From ear to ear
But instead we're growlin like bears.
All: Oh, we're all just growlin'
Growlin' like bears
Bears that are stuck in a tree.
Cause he don't like her
And she don't like him
But we're still as happy as fleas.
Jonathan: We're all just like pole cats
Stuck in a tree
We don't know how to get down.
We'll all stick together
Until the fair weather
And until then we're growlin' likr bears.
All: Oh, we're all just growlin'
Growlin' like bears
Bears that are stuck in a tree.
Cause he don't like her
And she don't like him
But we're still as happy as fleas.
Caroline: Ha ha ha! So we can get married tomorrow?
Everyone Else: Of course!
Caroline: Oh Jonathan!
Narrator: So, there we have it! A story of Western romance. Jonathan and Caroline had a happy life together with five kids. Elly May became a rodeo queen, Joshua followed in his father's footsteps as owner of the rodeo, and the Thompsons, Klatberrys, Millers and Hentickles remained the best of friends. Oklahoma was peaceful once again. Except for the Smiths and Claybournes, but . . . I'll save that for another time.
The End
Cast Breakdown for 2005 Production:
Caroline
Jonathan
Preacher Harrison, also plays Kevin, and puppets of the Thompsons and Hentickles
Narrator, also plays Elly May, and puppets of Millers and Klatberrys
A musical by Rebecca Noon, written at age 10
Act I, Scene 1
Narrator: Well, howdy! You all are about to stumble onto a story. A story of a feud in two families in the Oklahoma territory in 1865. Come on in and see!
"Love"
Caroline: Oh I love you Jonathan.
I love you for so many things.
See, you're smart and you love me
And you're always there for me.
What more do I need?
Jonathan: Oh I love you Caroline.
I love you for so many things.
Cause you're wise and you're beautiful
But most of all
Cause you love me.
Caroline: Oh Jonathan! I'm so happy with you!
Jonathan: So you'll be wishing me a happy return?
Caroline: Where darling? I'm wishing you a happy return from where?
Jonathan: Oh, it's nothing to worry about. I'm just going to tell your daddy about . . . us. That is if you accept.
Caroline: Why, are you proposing to me Jonathan Klatberry? If you are . . . I accept!
Jonathan: I am Miss Caroline, I am!!
Caroline: Oh Jonathan! I have to go tell Mamma and Daddy!
Jonathan: Caroline, watch out for your daddy!
Caroline: Oh Jonathan, Daddy'll be happy!
"What Kind of Life?"
Jonathan: Caroline why you goin'?
He don't really need to know.
He never liked me much and you know it
Yeah you know it.
So why not just keep hiding and not show it
Yeah not show it.
Caroline: Jonathan, what kind of life
Would that be?
Just you and me?
No family and friends
No happy weekends?
What kind of life would that be?
Caroline: Plus Jonathan, you know he is my father. Don't worry. What can he do? As long as you're with me, I'll be as happy as could be!
Jonathan: Maybe you're right Caroline, but I still think we should be careful about your daddy.
Caroline: Yes, yes, I agree. What we need is a plan and . . . and . . . I do declare! I have a plan for all our parents! I mean, your mamma ain't exactly the gentlest woman!
Jonathan: Well, I guess. So . . . what is it?
Caroline: Come here and I'll tell you.
Act I, Scene 2
Narrator: So, that's how we begin our story. We have the two hopeful, star-crossed lovers that only want to be with each other. But what do their parents have to say? Look, here comes Caroline's mom, Sylvia.
"Sometimes"
Sylvia: Sometimes it seems to me
That there is nothing on that tree
To pluck!
Sometimes I like to think
That most water goes plink plink
So there's nothing left for me
To drink!
(music continues under scene. Caroline enters)
Sylvia: 'Morning darling! Did you sleep well?
Caroline: Why yes I did . . . I had the most wonderful dream!
Sylvia: Oh really? What about darling?
Caroline: Jonathan!!
(music abruptly stops)
Sylvia: Oh Caroline. I just don't know what you see in that boy!
Caroline: Oh no Momma. He's wonderful. In fact, guess what Momma?
Sylvia: What?
Caroline: He asked for my hand . . . in . . . uhh . . .my hand in . . .
Sylvia: Yes? I'm waiting.
Caroline: In uhhhh . . . dish washing soap. Yeah, that's it. Yeah.
Sylvia: Are you sure it's not marriage?
Caroline: Well, no, I'm not sure . . . because it is.
Sylvia: So, did you accept?
Caroline: Promise not to tell Daddy?
Sylvia: Oh Caroline!
Caroline: Promise?
Sylvia: You know I cannot do that Caro--
Caroline: Mamma!
Sylvia: I'll try my best, but I can't promise you anything.
Caroline: Thank you Mamma.
Act I, Scene 3
"I Wish"
Luciel: I wish life could be perfect
For us.
Never have a worry or a fuss.
Oh I wish life could be perfect
For us.
Jonathan: Good morning mamma. That was a very enchanting song! Did you sleep well?
Luciel: Very well. See, I'm happy I raised such a fine boy. . . Unlike that Thompson girl!
Jonathan: Oh Momma, she's okay. I mean, she's more than okay. She's . . .
Jonathan: A bird on a tree
Tweedle dee dee
A song in the breeze
Dee dee dee kee
A lovely girl.
Oh yes a most enchanting girl!
Luciel: She's a little old rat
A thieving young boar.
I've even heard
That she might be a
Jonathan: (music stops) Momma!
Luciel: Oh! I'm sorry. (music continues)
Jonathan: Momma, oh momma
You've got it all wrong.
She's a lovely girl.
Yes a most enchanting girl.
See that's why I'm going to
Marry her and
Luciel: (music stops) Marry her. Jonathan Klatberry tell me that ain't what you said! For your old dying Momma, tell me you didn't just say that you are going to marry that . . . that ugggg.
Jonathan: Oh Momma! Ummm that's uhhh. Well, you see . . . wait! What am I doing? I love Caroline and yes! I'm going to marry Caroline Thompson! . . . Just one thing.
Luciel: What son?
Jonathan: Just please don't tell Daddy!
Act I, Scene 4
Narrator: Let's see. You've met our lovers . . . and their mommas! You saw how "happy" the mommas were with the news. Now let's see what the kids do to get around their parents.
Caroline: (entering into church with Jonathan) I'm not so sure about this Jonathan. I mean, should we really be doing this?
Jonathan: Do we love each other?
Caroline: Why yes! I do believe so.
Jonathan: Well then. That's all that matters.
Preacher Harrison: Ahem. . . Mr. Klatberry, Miss Thompson. How are ya'll this evening?
Caroline: Uh . . . that's what we wanted to talk to you about. You see --
Jonathan: Caroline, let me. You see Preacher Harrison, we, Caroline and me, we love each other very much, but our parents, they's feuding so . . . so . . .
Preacher Harrison: You want me to marry you two, huh?
Jonathan: Yes sir!
Preacher Harrison: You two haven't exactly thought this through, have you?
Jonathan: No sir!
Preacher Harrison: I see.
"The Things You're Gonna Need"
Preacher Harrison: Where you gonna live?
Are your parents gonna know?
All the time I've known ya's
I never disagreed
But I think you should know
The things yer gonna need.
Firstly,
Yer gonna need money to buy that house.
Caroline: A house?
Preacher Harrison: A house.
Secondly,
Yer gonna need a job to get that money.
Jonathan: A job?
Preacher Harrison: A job.
Thirdly,
Yer gonna need horses.
Jonathan & Caroline: Horses?
Preacher Harrison: Horses.
Horses and food and clothes and . . .
Preacher Harrison: (music stops) Do ya'll want to hear the pitter patter of little feet?
Caroline: Oh definitly!
Preacher Harrison: Oh boy! (music continues)
Preacher Harrison: Then you're gonna need
More food.
Caroline & Jonathan: More food?
Preacher Harrison: More money.
Caroline & Jonathan: More money?
Preacher Harrison: More jobs.
Caroline & Jonathan: More jobs?
Jonathan: More clothes, more horses, more --
Preacher Harrison: Plus,
Baby carriages, baby cribs, schoolin', clothes . . .
Caroline: (music stops) WAIT! Jonathan this isn't right! Without our parents this will just be too hard!
Jonathan: I guess you're right Caroline. But then how will we ever be married?
Caroline: Remember? We can use my plan.
Jonathan: Yeah! We can use your plan.
Preacher Harrison: Bye Caroline. Bye Jonathan. Yeesh, when I applied for this job they never told me there'd be days like this.
Act I, Scene 5
Narrator: It's twelve noon and Caroline is strolling over to her best friend Elly's house to discuss problems.
"A Marvelous Thing"
Caroline: Love at first sight
Is a marvelous thing.
I know cause it happened to me.
The loving young glances,
The short sweet romances.
Who knows what it is
But it's crazy.
Caroline: Here I am! Elly's house. Hello! Elly May! It's me, Caroline.
Delia: Caroline! That you sweetie? It's me, Delia. I just don't know where Elly is right now, but you can talk to me.
Elly May: (offstage) Momma! I'm in the barn with Starlight!
Delia: Elly, why are you interrupting us like that? Caroline and I was about to have a conversation about personal stuff. Weren't we Caroline?
Caroline: Actually, I really needed to talk to Elly May right now, but thanks anyway Mrs. Hentickle.
Delia: Oh, heh, heh, call me Delia and it wasn't nothing.
Elly May: (enters) Come on! Are you just going to talk to my momma all day?
Delia: I do declare! Girls these days. It's rush, rush, rush. (exits)
Elly May: So, you say your momma won't let you marry Jonathan?
Caroline: Yeah. I'm also afraid that she'll tell Daddy.
Elly May: So what if she tells your daddy?
Caroline: Think of it this way. If she tells Daddy he might go after Jonathan with a gun. You know how protective he is!
Elly May: What are you guys going to do?
Caroline: Well Elly. That's precisely why I came over.
Elly May: Ah shucks! I thought it was my charming personality.
Caroline: Oh you silly! We have a plan.
Elly May: How's it go?
Caroline: Like this.
Act I, Scene 6
Kevin: Let me get this straight Jonathan. We, Elly May, Caroline, you, and me, are going to write four letters saying that you and Caroline have run away to get married and give it to all our parents? Even Elly's and mine?
Jonathan: Yeah. In the past six years even you guys have become involved. Your momma and daddy taking my momma and daddy's side. And then the same with Elly's. Except it's Caroline's family, not mine.
Kevin: Right. Anyways. But really Caroline and you'll just be hiding. While we're hiding hopefully all our families will be brought together.
Jonathan: Yup. That's the gist of it, Kevin!
Kevin: Wait a minute! Did you say that your mommas and daddies won't let you get married because they're feuding?
Jonathan: Yeah, I said that.
Kevin: Well, stick me with chicken wire and paint me blue! Your momma told my momma that your momma and poppa had the same problem that you two are having now!
Jonathan: Well, how do you like that?
Kevin: Yup.
"Love, Yeah Love"
Jonathan: Life can be unfair to you
People can be decieving.
When life gets you down
There's only one thing to depend on.
Jonathan & Kevin: Well, I'll tell ya
It's love yeah love.
Tell someone you love 'em
Well you'll feel love too.
Yeah love can really lift you.
Kevin: When people get you down
And it's hard to stand back up
Just fill your head with thoughts of love
And you will perk right up.
Jonathan & Kevin: Well, I'll tell ya
It's love yeah love.
Tell someone you love 'em
Well you'll feel love too.
Yeah love can really lift you.
Act II, Scene 1
Narrator: Here we are at the Rodeo of 1865. Yes, this is the place where Caroline, Jonathan, Elly May, and Kevin put their plan into action.
"Rodeo"
All: We're all waitin'
For the horses to come out.
We're all waitin'
For the cowboys to shout.
Yee haw! Yee haw!
It's time for the rodeo!
It's time for the rodeo!
It's time for the rodeo!
Yee haw!
Kenny: YEE HAW! I'm Kenny Hentickle. Husband to Delia, father to Elly May. And I'm here to welcome you all to the Tenth Annual Rodeo!!! Now for our first contestant . . . Joshua Miller. How you doin' Joshua?
Joshua: Oh, I'm just fine. I'd like to say howdy to my wife Lilly and son Kevin. Also, my dear, dear friends the Klatberrys.
Kenny: Joshua. Now, now. That shows no taste, being friends with the Klatberrys. My family is friends with the Thompsons.
Joshua: What's that supposed to mean?
Elly May: (entering in another space) How are we going to sneak these letters to our mommas and poppas?
Jonathan: We've got that all planned out Elly. You see, you're going to give one to my daddy and go hide, then--
Caroline: Then I give one to Kevin's daddy and go hide, then --
Kevin: Then I give one to Caroline's daddy and go hide, then --
Jonathan: Then I give one to your daddy and go hide.
Elly May: Oh, I see! What a good plan Caroline.
Caroline: Well thank you very much! (to Jonathan) Just think, by tomorrow we'll be man and wife.
Jonathan: TAMARRA!?
"Tamarra"
Jonathan: Woman are you crazy?
Caroline: Crazy over yoo-hoo.
Jonathan: Woman are you nutzo?
Caroline: Nutzo over yoo-hoo.
Jonathan: Stop lookin' at me
Like a sick dog!
I love you so, but
Tamarra?
Caroline: What's wrong with tamarra?
I really like tamarra.
I happen to think it's just fine.
I just can't wait for you to be mine oh mine!
Jonathan: We got plans to make
People to call.
There's no way!
Caroline: Absolutley wrong is you!
Jonathan: No how!
Caroline: For me sugar plum?
Jonathan: That I'll wait another day!
Both: Tamarra!
Elly May: We best skidaddle and deliver the letters.
Caroline: Oh! You're right! I just want to say thanks so much you two!
Kevin: Aww shucks! You guys! We'll meet up with you guys later. Just go!
Jonathan: See you in hiding! (he and Caroline exit)
Kevin: They're sweet.
Elly May: Like candy! Come on. We've got some letters to deliver!
Kevin: Mr. and Mrs. Thompson? I got a letter for you.
Kent: Well, what is it boy?
Kevin: I don't know sir. Why don't you open it?
Kent: (opens and reads) Good GRACIOUS!
Sylvia: What is it Kent? (takes letter) Oh no! My baby! My baby!
Elly May: Mr. Klatberry I have a telegram for you.
Franklin: Give it here girl! (opens and reads) Why I'll kill that boy!
Luciel: Why?
Franklin: He's run off with Caroline Thompson!!
Luciel: WHAT?! Why I'll kill him too. Oooo! How dare he double-cross me?!
Jonathan: Mr. Hentickle?
Kenny: Yes?
Jonathan: I have a letter concerning your daughter, Mr. Hentickle.
Delia: Elly? Elly May?
Kenny: Well, let's have it. (reads) Oh my dear lord.
Delia: What? Kenny give it here! (reads) ELLY!
Caroline: 'Scuse me Mr. and Mrs. Miller.
Lilly: Yes dear?
Caroline: Well, ummm . . . . Howdy!
Joshua: Stop blubbering girl and get on with whatever you came for!
Caroline: Yes sir. Here. (throws letter and runs)
Joshua: What a strange girl. (reads) That boy has done it this time!!
Lilly: What? (reads) Oh, how sweet. He's helping Caroline and Jonathan elope . . . Aaaaa! My son's a helper to sin!
Act II, Scene 2
Narrator: The search for the four begins. Where are they hiding? Only time will tell.
Franklin: Ooooooo! That boy's gonna pay for this! I bet that wretch Caroline talked him into it. Ooooo.
Joshua: Yeah, but you gotta admit it was a good plan!
Sylvia: How dare you talk about my daughter leading your cruel and develish son into holy matrimony!
Delia: Yes. It was obviously a scheme of your son to get Caroline to unbutton her dress.
Luciel: Now wait just a second! No man in my family us talked to or about like that. My boy's a good boy with maners, unlike your scumbucket of a girl.
Lilly: But you know what they say . . . the apple don't fall far from the tree.
Kent: Hey! My daughter and wife don't deserve treatment like that. . . Especially from two pole cats like you. And besides, Kevin isn't exactly the perfect son.
Franklin & Joshua: Watch how you talk to my wife! (all start arguing)
Lilly: WAIT ONE MINUTE! (all stop) I don't know about the rest of you, but I want to find my son.
Joshua: So, Lilly, let's go with Franklin and Luciel and leave these four fools here.
Sylvia: No! I want to find my daughter too!
Delia: Yes, Elly May must be in need of me now.
Kent: Hear hear, little darling. Let's go! (all start looking around then finally stop and look upstage where there is a church)
All: Preacher Harrison's!
Franklin: Why didn't we think of this in the first place?
"Stop the Wedding"
Franklin: Preacher Harrison's the one they'd go to.
Sylvia: Preacher Harrison's the one they'd see.
Kent: There's no doubt about it
That they're in there.
Luciel: I'd know it if they were
Anywhere.
All: We're gonna go in there.
We're gonna stop this weddin'.
We're gonna go in there
And stop it now.
There's no doubt about it
That they're inside.
We're gonna go in there and stop it . . .
For good.
Preacher Harrison: Now, now, what's all the commotion about?
Kenny: Us eight is looking for our four.
Preacher Harrison: But you all are enemies . . . aren't you?
Lilly: Ha ha ha! Us? We're bosom buddies! (all but Preacher laugh)
Preacher Harrison: Caroline, Jonathan, Elly, Kevin! You can come out now! They all friends.
Caroline: Whew! It's hot in there!
Kevin: You said it Caroline.
Elly May: (shivering) A-at l-l-least you weren't frozen next to the i-i-ice chest.
Jonathan: Y-yeah.
Luciel: You mean you didn't get married?
Caroline: Hee, hee. Course not. It was all a trick to bring you eight together.
Franklin: Well, it worked plum dandy! Glad you thought of it, Jonathan!
Delia: JONATHAN! It was obviously the work of Elly May.
Elly May: Actually Momma -- (everyone starts arguing)
Sylvia: HOLD IT! (all quiet) Let's not fight, because tomorrow we'll be family.
Caroline: Oh Momma! I love you!
"Growling Like Bears"
Caroline: We're all together
Sharing our love
And tomorrow they'll be a joinin'.
We should all be smilin'
From ear to ear
But instead we're growlin like bears.
All: Oh, we're all just growlin'
Growlin' like bears
Bears that are stuck in a tree.
Cause he don't like her
And she don't like him
But we're still as happy as fleas.
Jonathan: We're all just like pole cats
Stuck in a tree
We don't know how to get down.
We'll all stick together
Until the fair weather
And until then we're growlin' likr bears.
All: Oh, we're all just growlin'
Growlin' like bears
Bears that are stuck in a tree.
Cause he don't like her
And she don't like him
But we're still as happy as fleas.
Caroline: Ha ha ha! So we can get married tomorrow?
Everyone Else: Of course!
Caroline: Oh Jonathan!
Narrator: So, there we have it! A story of Western romance. Jonathan and Caroline had a happy life together with five kids. Elly May became a rodeo queen, Joshua followed in his father's footsteps as owner of the rodeo, and the Thompsons, Klatberrys, Millers and Hentickles remained the best of friends. Oklahoma was peaceful once again. Except for the Smiths and Claybournes, but . . . I'll save that for another time.
The End
Cast Breakdown for 2005 Production:
Caroline
Jonathan
Preacher Harrison, also plays Kevin, and puppets of the Thompsons and Hentickles
Narrator, also plays Elly May, and puppets of Millers and Klatberrys
posted by slythoar at 1:20 PM
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